Let me explain

English is not my first language. I mentioned in another letter - my first language is actually Spanish. As a kid in public school, I was placed into ELL (English Language Learners) and was taught English from scratch.

Today, my English is actually better than my Spanish. I can understand both languages flawlessly, and can still speak Spanish. (Though I can’t really read it). This gives me a great view of the English language. Instead of being monolingual, having nothing to compare this language to, I have a frame of reference to others ways to say things.

Table of Contents

• Let me explain

• The Words

  • Ekphrastic

  • Stool

  • Quite

  • Deja Vu

  • Sophomore

  • Because

  • Restaurant

  • Kindergarten

  • Library

  • Entrepreneur

• Updates!

The Words

Ekphrastic

How do you pronounce that word? Try it. Sound it out. WRONG! No matter how you arrange these letters, you cannot make it look the way it sounds! I couldn’t pronounce this word ONCE in my poetry class. And! And! Every time I had to use this word in my assignments, I would have to open up the course syllabus and copy and paste it. Not even google had any idea what I was trying to spell.

Stool

I specifically mean “stepping stool”, as in that little thing you use to make yourself taller when reach for the oregano in the back of the cupboard. But, it just so happens to also mean poop! How disgusting!

There’s a better word in Spanish - banquito. It also means “stepping stool”. But this word is better! “-ito”, you add it at the end of words in Spanish to signify “small”. It’s like a cute nickname. “Little helper” is how I like to translate it.

In my presence, you never say “Pass me the stool”. You say, “Pass me the banquito”.

Quite

Am I saying, “qweye - it”? Or, “qwite”? This word is just ugly to look at and always feels wrong when I look at. Why do you need three vowels in this singular word.

Quiet is also way to similar and too close. (If you’re like me, you didn’t even realize that was a different word) Biggest reason why this word sucks! OH, you moved your “e” one space to the right, and now you want completely different pronouncing? No!

Deja Vu

I want to add some back story. I took three years of French classes. 8th grade, freshmen year, and sophomore year. While my French speaking is not so great, I did learn how to read. At least, better than I can read Spanish. (A confusing thing really)

The issue is- French makes no sense! Oh, this word isn’t long enough? Time to add in more vowels! At the end of 8th grade, our teacher handed back assignments in our English class from the beginning of the year. And assignments we had done towards the end, that way we could compare the two.

My spelling got WORSE. I’m someone who had to learn to write English from NOTHING, couldn’t speak it, couldn’t understand it, NOTHING! I spent years and years learning how to write in English so I wouldn’t be behind my peers.

And in one year France said, “non”. And threw away all my progress! Once I stopped taking French classes, do you know how long it took for me to undo the damage of French spelling conventions? Do you?

Take a guess.

Think of a number.

Weeks, months, years.

Pick one.

You ready?

Ahem.

FIVE YEARS. IT TOOK ME FIVE YEARS TO UNDO THE DAMAGE OF FRENCH WORDS.

Basically, I hate all French loan words.

Sophomore

Why do you have that extra “o”? You don’t need it! No one is pronouncing it! You stuck up little prick!

Because

This is a word that I distinctly remember practicing in elementary school. I don’t remember the grade. I was selt conscious of my horrible spelling, and I wanted to prove that I could do big words. This is a word that I noticed came up often, and none of my classmates knew how to spell it.

So I would write this word several times every day until I could do it by memory. Thankfully, this word survived my “I can’t spell English words” trauma of high school.

Restaurant

Why can’t it be rest - er -aunt?

There’s an “e” in there, but I promise you there should’ve been another one. And that first a is unnecessary. For the life of me, I’ve never spelt this word right. Not joking. I even wrote a story where every chapter started with this forsaken word. I was copying and pasting that word every single time.

Kindergarten

Do you say, “kinder gar TEN”, or, “kinder gar den”? Because I say the later, because that’s the way that makes sense!

There’s a reason why this is often shortened to “kinder”, because how do you expect five and six year olds to say this? Tell me, how?

Library

You and I both know you don’t need those two ‘r’s. It was also one of the hardest words for me to say as a child.

Entrepreneur

I don’t know if this word is French, but it has to be with how many vowels it has.

If you got English words that you hate as well, tell me them. Let’s all bask in the rage that results from a language built on loan words.

Updates!

I have started formatting the novel!!! Wooo! Let me break these things down:

1. I’m done with peer reviews! I got a good number of eyes looking at my work, and I’ve begun with the final edits

2. I’m setting up the format in Adobe Indesign for the novel itself (sneak peek coming soon)

3. I’ve started budgeting and reaching out in regards to getting professional covers! Expect an update on that once a new cover is ready to come!

4. The first draft of my second story is all set, and I’ve started working on the next draft! (After a little break of course)